François MITTERRAND struck by sumptuous spleen.

François Mitterrand (1916.1996)

Autograph letter signed to Marie-Louise Terrasse, known as Catherine Langeais.

Four pages small in 4°.

[Fort d'Ivry]. January 19, 1939.

"I was overcome by a profound melancholy. This military life seemed absurd to me."

Mitterrand, tired of his military service, takes refuge in love.

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"My dearest Marie-Louise, This morning, waking up was hard, or rather, getting out of bed. I was overcome by a profound melancholy. This military life seemed absurd to me. And your distance, our separation, I could no longer bear it. My darling, it is truly painful for me to endure your absence: you cannot imagine the anguish that grips me every time I am about to leave you, the sorrow. And this may explain the delays I cause you, which have earned me a few reprimands… Everything is divided into two very clear parts: you and what is outside of you. And the more time passes, the more lost I feel, outside of you, with the anguish of my solitude."

I'm actually quite tired right now. This flu has completely knocked me out. For example, this afternoon I went to Montrouge to practice machine gun shooting (where I got a very good result: 12 shots in the bullseye out of 12). During the entire march, I felt nothing, and then, as soon as I stopped, I lost all sense of my body's limits , and my head was getting some rather unpleasant jolts! This makes me irritable (you've probably noticed), and, with my nerves on edge, I fly into a rage at the sight of every obstacle. I lack the wisdom to assess it before attacking it, to truly understand it. I'm telling you this not to elicit pity, but to make you understand that if I happen to be unfriendly or moody, it's more due to circumstances than to my nature!

I hope, my darling little girl, that you are not being careless. Be careful of your cold, be careful of catching diphtheria. It would be so silly to be sick, and so distressing. Have you heard anything about my visit to 5 Avenue d'Orléans? My dearest, you know what conclusions we must draw from Sunday's meeting. Let's hurry and do everything we can to continue making progress. What progress we've made in the last year! We must manage to see each other before the summer holidays, so I can come to your house. At all costs, we must avoid too long a separation, which would cause too much suffering. I think of you all day long, and my nights are short, keeping me away from you. How often I find myself dreaming of you, imagining you as you are, my darling little Zou, as I love you.

I'm currently making plans for our immediate future. It's essential that, upon completing my military service, I have a situation in place that allows us to achieve our goals. As I mentioned, it's up to me to prove myself. And I will, because I adore you and you are the purpose of everything I do.

Sunday: our first anniversary. We must spend it in complete agreement on all points, according to the model we will set for our entire lives: you know, this balance to maintain, this search for the spiritual within the fulfillment of the material, which I have often spoken to you about. I think that if we can, we should take communion together on Sunday. God will never be too much between us.

My Marie-Louise, will I receive the letter I'm hoping for tomorrow? In any case, I tell you that I love you more than anything, that nothing will break my love, that you are my fiancée. And since I think the least one can do is love one's fiancée madly, conclude. François

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Catherine Langeais (1923.1998), whose real name is Marie-Louise Terrasse, met François Mitterrand on January 28, 1938, during the École Normale Supérieure ball, with whom, although only 15 years old, she became engaged. Mitterrand wrote more than 300 letters to the woman he nicknamed Zou.