François MITTERRAND and the moral pain of his military service.

François Mitterrand (1916.1996)

Autograph letter signed to Marie-Louise Terrasse, known as Catherine Langeais.

Four pages small in 4°. Wetness on the 1st ^sheet for which Mitterrand apologizes.

[Fort d’Ivry]. January 5, 1939.

“And then, my little girl, you know very well that I have this big fault of not being docile. »

Mitterrand, desperate not to see his love.

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“My beloved Marie-Louise, This bad cold that I have been carrying around for several days is becoming more and more demanding. He doesn't give me a break. And as the physical affects the moral, I am a little blue today. So it is unbearable to be separated from you. I can't be really happy away from you. If it lasts, which I hope and believe, for life, it promises you the constant inconvenience of my presence. I told you “I will spend my time looking at you”, I was only half lying: the other half of the time, I will close my eyes and savor your presence.

You must have found me very tyrannical the other day! I didn't obey you in anything! My darling, do not think that it will be like this for many things, I know that you are and will be right, and I will try to give you everything you ask of me: our love will be enough and will help us to weigh the good and the bad of everything. And then, my little girl, you know very well that I have this big fault of not being docile. Should I try to correct it?

Last night I wrote to your mother. I told her that I would probably go see her on Wednesday. Unfortunately, the free neighborhood of tomorrow is problematic. However, I would like to clarify the situation as soon as possible. In any case, I will be able to go out from 5:15 p.m., as usual. I therefore plan to see you certainly as agreed, 6 p.m. to 6:15 p.m. My beloved, it is impossible for me to remain without seeing you. So see you Wednesday. I'm waiting for that moment when I'll finally be happy. To your mother, when I see her, I will say what I have often confided to you: that I know that it is her duty to worry about you, that her fears are natural, that I only ask you to explain: I love you and want to have the right to see you. Your mother wrote to me: “we will get along very well”. I strongly desire it, but I will never agree to stop our meetings: that would be denying my love.

My Marie-Louise, this morning the mail was poor for me: nothing, no long-awaited blue envelope. Have you been very busy at home? You know that I need you and that a day without you is a day missed. My dearest, I hope to have the testimony of your love tomorrow: it is necessary for me.

Sunday's tête-à-tête did not put you in any danger. I love you so much, my darling, that the thought of choosing someone other than you, even for a moment, cannot enter my mind. And you are my little fiancée who I adore. Nothing matters to me except you.

I continue this letter in the canteen: in front of me a glass of white wine! Don't think I'm going down the slope of drunkenness! But I'm really tired and I need support, especially since I had to carry a machine gun mount on my shoulders for a good part of the morning: that didn't put me in a very fresh state. !

My darling little Zou, quickly give me your news: otherwise I will believe that the only young man on the Christmas tree intervened, not without success... My darling, I am finishing this letter, see you tomorrow. I am unhappy without you. Tell me quickly that you love me: this is now my reason for living. And when I think of the long hours that will come between this one in which I write to you and the one in which I will hear and read your love, I cannot help but be terribly sad. My dearest, I love you, that's all. No, that's not all: I adore you. Francis. PS Damn, someone clumsy drops water on my letter, forgive me! Fr. "

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Catherine Langeais (1923.1998), whose real name is Marie-Louise Terrasse, met François Mitterrand on January 28, 1938, during the École Normale Supérieure ball, with whom, although only 15 years old, she became engaged. Mitterrand wrote more than 300 letters to the woman he nicknamed Zou.