François MITTERRAND and his first kiss to his lover.

François Mitterrand (1916.1996)

Autograph letter signed to Marie-Louise Terrasse, known as Catherine Langeais.

Three pages in quarto. [Fort d'Ivry]. December 5, 1938.

"We are gambling our lives and our happiness on each other and for each other."

Mitterrand recalls the first kiss they shared in the Luxembourg Gardens.

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"Marie-Louise, my beloved, today: a black mark. The rain served as my escort, but the princess did not come. What pleasure could she possibly feel away from the one who awaited her? Fortunately, he is a model of patience and resignation. A lost evening: one must accept it. It would probably end up being too many perfectly happy days in a row!"

Seven months ago, the sun beat down on the still-new leaves of the Luxembourg Gardens. A tiny little girl with blond hair had no idea her life was about to unfold; and the man with her had little more inkling of it. And so began the first act of the play we are living through, after a prologue full of charm and unsettling uncertainties. My darling, I was experiencing the taste of that peach I love for the first time. But it was the opposite of the fruit of the tree of knowledge: it placed me back in earthly paradise.

My beloved, I think the months will fly by until that moment when nothing will separate us. The moments we share are so wonderful that the longing for separation fades away. We may feel melancholic when we are apart, but we can no longer be sad. We possess one certainty: our love. Nothing else matters.

On Thursday, what joy I felt seeing you as you will be later, every day of our life together, when we are at home. And yesterday I was amused to see the first bridges being built between us and our families: I felt a pleasant sense of ownership. You know… “my most precious possession”…

I'm picking up this letter again this evening, Tuesday. This morning I received your missive: another link in the chain of happiness I owe you. We must have just missed each other yesterday. I arrived at our meeting between 6:10 and 6:15 p.m., and since I told you to arrive early, I suppose you were already heading home! I deeply regret the time we could have spent together. And I regret having bothered you only for the rain, which I also received a caress from. My beloved Zou, I adore you. You can't imagine how much I think of you . Seeing you less often until Easter will be very painful. But will that matter compared to our love?

Now that the ESOR training has started, I'll hardly be free anymore. In fact, only Saturday evenings and Sundays! But I'll try to get an extra outing each week. In any case, for tomorrow, Wednesday, I'm not sure I'll be able to make it to the designated meeting place. I'd still ask you to stop by on your walk, always between 6:00 and 6:15 PM (and return via Boulevard Rasp, left side!). It would be a shame to miss this opportunity. As for Thursday, I won't be able to see you, nor Friday, nor Saturday, as I'll probably be vaccinated again Friday morning. I do plan to go out on Sunday, though. Could you arrange things so you can see me around 3:00 PM that day? I'll talk to you about it later and give you my exact schedule. (I'll do everything I can to be free around 5:00 PM since that's easier for you. I'll let you know soon).

My beloved Marie-Louise, as I told you, these next few months will be quite difficult. We will see each other less often. But I believe I have chosen the best solution. A better period will begin in April, since I will be a non-commissioned officer, while still remaining close to you. We will need to write to each other very often. For the time being, will you write to me daily? We mustn't let a day go by without recreating our shared moments. And besides, we will have much to discuss: tastes, ambitions, plans, and our opinions on every event, our stance on every problem. Starting tomorrow or the day after, I will write to you in more detail than I can today, when I can only give you these brief indications.

Darling, time will fly. A long quarter, punctuated by encounters, brief but intense joys! And then, on my side, more freedom, more encounters. And then the months will slip away, and that will be what we both so ardently await: our complete union. My little one, tell me everything you do, include me in your actions, in your thoughts. Let us live together from now on as perfectly as possible. We are so firmly bound by our love! Let us face our troubles head-on. They are nothing! Because we love each other above all else, because we know it, because we stake our lives, our happiness on each other and for each other. My darling, I am so happy to know that a little girl in the world loves me as you love me! And I am happy to think that this little girl is you, whom I love, to whom I bestow my most beautiful dreams.

Tomorrow, I will give you, or send you, a letter in which I will tell you a little about myself. I will address it to Claudie. I am counting on your letters. Your love is everything to me. I adore you, and it is so sad that I can only confess it to you from afar! For deep inside, I cherish the memory of my beloved peach. François.

Tomorrow evening, I'll be allowed to go out from 7 pm onwards, I'll try to leave as usual. So come as I said above, if it doesn't bother you. I love you. Fr.

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Catherine Langeais (1923.1998), whose real name is Marie-Louise Terrasse, met François Mitterrand on January 28, 1938, during the École Normale Supérieure ball, with whom, although only 15 years old, she became engaged. Mitterrand wrote more than 300 letters to the woman he nicknamed Zou.