Romain Gary's heartbreaking farewell letter to his lost love. 1939.

Romain GARY (1914.1980)

Autograph card signed to Christel Söderlund.

A 24° page on the back of a greeting card depicting a pilot waving flowers from his plane. The card has been crossed out in ink by Gary.

Avord Air Base. December 31, 1939.

“…tonight, memories are attacking me furiously…”

A heartbreaking farewell letter to Christel, his lost love. Living on the Avord military base, Romain Gary, a solitary man, is struck on New Year's Eve by the passionate memories of his inconsolable love. At the dawn of the tragic hours of 1940, desperate and alone, he is caught by the throat.

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Christel,

Tonight, I reflect on my past—which was our past—and I sadly realize that I have not yet managed to turn the page. So, I write you this note, without hope and without fever, like someone knocking on the door of an empty house. Why? I don't know. I feel that there is no one, no one, behind the door.

I expect nothing. But tonight, the memories attack me furiously... And I am weak with these memories, so weak! I can do nothing against them. They invade me. They throw me to my knees. They hit me on the head. They grab me by the throat... Goodbye. Romain.

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Romain Gary met Christel Söderlund-Kryland, a young 21-year-old Swedish journalist, in Nice in July 1937. Gary's first great love, their passion was all-consuming and brief. After a few months together, Christel (who would inspire Gary to play Brigitte in Promise at Dawn ), already married, returned to her native country in June 1939 to resume her life as a wife to the musician and composer Axel-Bror Söderlundh. Gary never forgot this passion.