François MITTERRAND and his military service in 1939.

François Mitterrand (1916.1996)

Autograph letter signed to Marie-Louise Terrasse, known as Catherine Langeais.

Two pages in quarto. [Fort d'Ivry]. Thursday, February 16, 1939.

« I still have to forge my courage

"My little girl, I wish my tenderness could be so gentle (tonight and every day of our lives) that you would never be sad. I am distraught by your sorrow, your boredom, your weariness. I feel so clumsy. And how could I not find my hands clumsy when they must bear my most precious possession, my little girl whom I love.".

My darling, I cannot express the feelings that dwell within me. Seeing you so tired has saddened me deeply. I longed to proclaim my love to you, yet not to intrude. I wished that a sudden power would seize me and grant me the right to heal you, to restore your happiness.

My beloved, how are you at this moment? Above all, don't have a bad night. Sleep well, and tomorrow nothing will betray the wickedness of tonight. I would rather suffer any pain myself than know you are afflicted by illness or discomfort. And all my life I will strive to uphold this choice.

For Saturday: I'm very likely to have some free time; in that case, I'll be waiting for you at 4:00 PM (until 4:30 PM) at the entrance to Boulevard Raspail (in front of the pharmacy). If, by some extraordinary circumstance, this free time is cancelled, it would then be from 6:00 PM to 6:15 PM at the same location (pharmacy at the top of Boulevard Raspail).

You will receive this letter tomorrow morning, Friday. You can then, in your letter tomorrow, mention these appointments and accept them, or suggest others. In any case, if for some unforeseen reason we miss each other in the afternoon, the 6:00 PM appointment will still stand. The time that follows will be so long. But I don't want to think about it too much yet. I still need to work up my courage.

My darling Zou, after all, these days are but a brief moment in the time allotted to us, the time that will be ours. Get well soon, and find your smile again (that smile I loved from the very first time). I'm thinking of you intensely. You are my life. Let me, my Zou, hold you close and tell you that I love you. That can't tire you, can it? I kiss you with all my tenderness and I love you. François. Tomorrow I will write to you before 2 a.m. So you will have the letter tomorrow evening. Good evening, my dearest. F.

Catherine Langeais (1923.1998), whose real name is Marie-Louise Terrasse, met François Mitterrand on January 28, 1938, during the École Normale Supérieure ball, with whom, although only 15 years old, she became engaged. Mitterrand wrote more than 300 letters to the woman he nicknamed Zou.