François MITTERRAND struck by sumptuous spleen.

François Mitterrand (1916.1996)

Autograph letter signed to Marie-Louise Terrasse, known as Catherine Langeais.

Four pages small in 4°.

[Fort d’Ivry]. January 19, 1939.

“I was seized with a sumptuous spleen. This military life seemed absurd to me. »

Mitterrand, tired of his military service, takes refuge in love.

_____________________________________________

“My dearest Marie-Louise, This morning, waking up was hard, or rather getting up. I was seized with sumptuous spleen. This military life seemed absurd to me. And your distance, our separation, I could no longer bear them. My darling, it is really painful for me to endure your absence: you cannot know what annoyance grabs my throat every time I leave you, what sadness. And this may explain these delays that I inflict on you and which have earned me some reprimands... Everything is divided into two very clear parts: you and what is outside of you. And the longer it goes, the more I feel lost, outside of you, with the anguish of my solitude.

I'm actually tired right now. This flu has knocked me out. For example, this afternoon, I went to Montrouge to shoot a machine gun (where I obtained a very good result: 12 bullets in the target out of 12). During the entire walk, I felt nothing, and then, as soon as I stopped, I no longer knew exactly the limits of my body and my head received unfriendly blows inside! This makes me irritable (you have undoubtedly noticed this), and, with my nerves on edge, I become enraged in the face of any obstacle. I do not have the wisdom to identify it before attacking it, to know its true value. I tell you this not to make myself pity, but to make you understand that if I happen to be unfriendly or moody, it is more due to circumstances than by nature!

I hope, my darling little girl, that you are not reckless, watch out for your cold, watch out for diphtheria contagion. It would be so stupid to be sick, and so boring. Have you heard of my visit to 5 avenue d’Orléans? My dearest, you know what conclusions we must draw from Sunday's interview. Let's hurry and do everything we can to continue progress. Over the past year, what progress we have made! We must be able to see each other between now and the summer holidays, so that I can go to your house. At all costs, we must avoid too long a separation, which would be a source of too much suffering. I think about you all day long, and my nights are short which keep me away from you. How many times I find myself dreaming of you, imagining you as you are, my darling little Zou, as I love you.

I am making plans for our near future. When I leave my military service, I must be able to count on a situation that will allow us to realize our projects. As I told you, it's up to me to prove myself. I will do them since I adore you and you are the goal of all my actions.

Sunday: our first anniversary. We will have to pass it in complete agreement on all points, according to the model that we will impose on our entire life: you know, this balance to maintain, this search for the spiritual in the accomplishment of the material that I have often spoken to you about. I think if we can, we should commune together on Sunday. God will never be too much between us.

My Marie-Louise, will I receive the letter I hope for tomorrow? In any case, I tell you that I love you more than anything, that nothing will break my love, that you are my fiancée. And since I think that the least you can do is to love your fiancée madly, conclude. Francis. »

_____________________________________________ 

Catherine Langeais (1923.1998), whose real name is Marie-Louise Terrasse, met François Mitterrand on January 28, 1938, during the École Normale Supérieure ball, with whom, although only 15 years old, she became engaged. Mitterrand wrote more than 300 letters to the woman he nicknamed Zou.