François Mitterrand in search of eternal love.

François Mitterrand (1916.1996)

Autographed letter signed to Marie-Louise Terrasse, known as Catherine Langeais.

Two pages in quarto. [Fort d'Ivry]. November 22, 1938.

“Happiness should not become our reason for being: Love, not happiness.”

I would rather suffer all my life and love you than live without pain and no longer love you

In the midst of his military service, Mitterrand confided his love.

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“My darling, I’ve just returned from the canteen where I drowned my sorrows (at not having seen you) in wine! Rest assured: only one glass, having refused to drink more because of the ravages of alcoholism: cretinism, rickets, premature debility, and early senility! This morning, we took our planned little tour, armed and fully equipped. Villejuif, Gargan, Chevilly, Vitry, L’Haÿ-les-Roses—I marched through their streets without dawdling, a canteen on my hip, a haversack on my back, and the bayonet tucked away in the folds of my greatcoat. I saw the sun rise and the suburban houses awaken in the light: their leprous facades seemed astonished by such a celebration. I drank fresh water with gusto and sang La Madelon.” And then, I had the leisure to dream to the rhythm of my steps : I imagined Beatrice with her dog, still asleep among her dolls, heavy with sleep, but still with the freshness of a peach, that peach whose taste I can never lose. My little girl whom I adore, how I wish you were always with me as you were yesterday: my fiancée, entirely mine, whose complete harmony I felt, perfectly united with all that I desire.

This morning I received your letter, which made me very happy. It proved to me, once again, your love, a love I cherish more than anything in the world. My darling, everything is so simple when we love each other. Didn't you feel a profound simplicity between us as we spoke, as we were completely absorbed in each other, during those all-too-brief minutes we shared last night?

I plan to see you tomorrow at the appointed time. My permission slip will likely be signed. So probably at 4 p.m., and certainly between 6 and 6:15 p.m. Let's not waste these moments we can share. It may not always be like this until the day we are forever .

To begin with, I'll likely be getting vaccinated against a whole host of illnesses at the end of this week. We might also be confined to our homes on Saturday because of the strikes that could happen. We'll see. Certain of our love, while any separation is hard, we know it doesn't shake our feelings in the slightest. Our happiness, my beloved, lies in living together. But happiness must not become our reason for being: Love, not happiness. I would rather suffer all my life and love you than live without pain and no longer love you.

My little girl, I'm finishing these lines in a hurry; I'm being called away for a game of bridge. Since I'm away every evening, I don't want to be uncooperative tonight. It bothers me a little! Because my only pleasure is having you with me, recreating your presence. My very, very darling, my beloved little girl, listen to me: I tell you that I adore you, just as I whispered to you yesterday when I was so close to you. Good night, my darling Marie-Louise. I love you. François

If by some extraordinary chance I didn't see you tomorrow, it would be Thursday between 6:00 and 6:15 PM, but that chance won't happen!

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Catherine Langeais (1923-1998), whose real name was Marie-Louise Terrasse, met François Mitterrand on January 28, 1938, at the ball of the École Normale Supérieure. Although only 15 years old, she became engaged to him. Mitterrand wrote more than 300 letters to the young woman he nicknamed Zou.